Do you ever feel like you’ve got the raw end of the deal when it comes to your Crohn’s disease, or do you feel like you’ve gotten off easy? Or perhaps a little bit of both….
Crohn’s disease exists on a huge spectrum, and whilst there are many common paths that we all must travel, the manifestation of the disease can differ significantly from person to person. Trying to compare our situation to that of others can therefore make us feel either a little hard done by, or a little relieved, depending on who we are drawing comparisons against.
To quote the American Pastor Steven Furtick:
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes, with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
Are we in fact comparing our bad days against someone else’s best days, or at least what we perceive to be a good day for them? Or, is it possible that some of those people have just got very good at hiding their pain? Perhaps all is not quite as it seems?
Truthfully, I would include myself in this group; I am not always comfortable revealing the true extent of my bad days, often choosing to fight these battles in private, whilst presenting a peachy front to the world around me. You know the game, the whole, “yeah, I’m fine. How are you” bullshit, whilst grimacing to hide the fact a chainsaw is being driven through your midsection.
On some level, everyone is making a conscious choice about how they present that part of themselves to the world. Whether it is baring all without fear or guilt, revealing a little, but never the true extent, or locking the door to outside world and powering though with a smile. This is why comparing your version of Crohn’s Disease to someone else’s is simply absurd, and frankly, dangerous to our mental health.
The good news is. It’s fine to feel beaten down, depressed, and frankly like the world is just shit on your worst days. No one should try to convince you otherwise as long as this is how you are choosing to feel, and that you understand that this state is temporary. Equally, on your best days, you should feel free to go mad, overdo it, go to the gym or rip up the garden, without fear of judgement from yourself, or from those around you. These days are the gifts, and we need to enjoy them in order to weather the storms that are never too far beyond the horizon.
This is your journey, and your life. You must take each day as it comes, and handle it as you see fit.